26th October 1944 - Edinburgh

Foggy and damp.  Amused myself watching the golfers on the links, a railway parcel van drive up and the horse cross the road to eat grass, then later a pantechnicon came to the ground floor flat in the next block and a lot of furniture went away.  In the afternoon I saw a funeral coming down a road on the opposite side of the links, a motor hearse and a white surpliced choir following behind.

Just before supper an abominable feeling of encroaching darkness came over me.  All life seemed to drain out of my body, and sharp pains set up in my thighs.  For a moment the room seemed dark, but soon became lighter again.  As soon as I was alone, I tried everything, shaking head, putting head down, etc to get rid of the weakness but no good.  Had bowl of broth, but still no better.  Made an excuse to go outside to see if it was raining, but even the cool damp night air brought no relief.

Crawled back up to the flat and confessed I could eat no more and would have to lie down.  They took it splendidly – put one to bed and made no bones about it.  Was thankful to be in the soft warm bed again, but felt strongly the awful embarrassment – to feel really ill in someone else’s house.

Determined to see Dr. Lamont tomorrow.  Heard Miss P. come in to talk about my discovery in the Links business and then fell asleep, listening to the howling of the wind and the beat of rain.

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