7th October 1944 - Perth

Saturday
Up late.  Nice day.  To Public Library.  See in press another big diver raid “on a more southerly course” so perhaps missed Colchester.  The Reference library has a special closed room for ladies and special tables.  Saw Perth histories.  Sat by river, near site of Gourse house, 4 swans, masses of seagulls on an island below the bridge, like snowflakes, some wheeling over calling, swans struggling upstream.  Pleasant gardens on the N. bank.  So quiet and peaceful.

Sirens tested at 1.30, while at lunch in Kirkgate.

Collected cycle, started to Dunkeld.  Scenery getting more and more wild and lovely.

Perth has a new housing estate, almost to the old toll bar, built like 3 storey tenements, rather attractive.

Bankfoot, tractor ploughing.  No corn left out along here.  Ugly little village.  Dunkeld by 4.15, very easy run.  Town looked terribly dilapidated, dirty, full of tinkers quarrelling and shouting.  Went right on, spoke to pretty dark foreign girl coming out of a great park.  Made for Pitlochry, sun coming through behind mountains.  There 6.30, streets full, quite impossible to get food or drink at any hotel.  Bars open, everyone drinking beer.  Crowds of snobbish elderly men and women.

Up Killiecrankie, eagerly looking for tea, but not a sign.  Great double headed trains, heading down to London.  Blair Atholl, very snobbish and foreboding.  Entrance to Castle with beautiful gates.  Asked at West Lodge for Struan.  Past the timber camps and right up into the mountains.

Found hostel was in an ugly derelict church, in a big road leading to the mountains.  2 men and 2 girls, but not all one party, all from Glasgow.  High up in the Grampians, whispering sighing trees, distant roaring water.  To be away from towns, alone.  Of the little cottages which I passed, I longed to live in one all the winter.


Tiny hamlets such as Bruar, a mere handful of cottages.  Sat till 11.3pm0 talking to the girls.  2 more men arrived after midnight making a great noise, talking loudly in broad Scots.  3 cars came by long after midnight, lights flashing across the old church.

6th October 1944 - Perth

Friday
Hotel good and reasonable.  Only charged 10/6 b&b.  Pleasant room, could see swiftly flowing Tay rushing by.  Soldiers marching along river bank, singing the “Q.M.’s Store”.

To library – read newspapers - divers over Essex last night.  Saw in window Kent Herald map of divers in Kent.  Made note on shells at Ramsgate and Maidstone.  Many ancient horses in this city – curious turret stairs.  To Museum and Art Gallery.  A pleasant building but the labelling very bad.  Hardly a picture labelled at all.  Little archaeological material on view.  Roman wall plaster (painted) from near Dunkeld.  Amenities in the far North.  Print by old Macbeth Raeburn.  Saw the Acting Director, Mr Woods – has been no proper Director for years.  ARP have taken almost all the basement.  Local antiquities and archaeology closed.  A good lecture hall.  He was very kind – showed me round – gave me book on Naural History of Perth, and a pamphlet on Perth maps.  Good series of them recorded.  Told me about Gowrie House – “demolished by the Government because of what happened there.”  Read in library for an hour.  Excellent books.

Evening to cinema etc.  Talked to a girl – a few German planes even over Perth.  Street lights now are really wonderful.  Walked till 11 admiring them, glow in sky reflections in swift Tay.

Many good horses – carts painted with white edges and shaft points for night work.  Horses used on the refuse wagons.  Many 4-wheel and Scotch carts on new rubbers.

Lovely starlight night after sunny afternoon.

5th October 1944 - Edinburgh to Perth

Thursday
To Perth.  Left reluctantly.  Left at 2.30.  To Leith.  Found Burnt Island ferry no longer running.  Cycled on to Queensferry, over miles of terrible cobble road.  Saw great school Fettes, and the city AA guns.  Went through Davidsons Mains, delightfully named Main St. and Quality St.  Past a little old Crammond Bridge and a mill to main road.  Saw “Scotland Neutral” painted in large white letters on a wall, now fading in weather.

Across ferry.  Saw aircraft carrier at anchor off Rosyth.  To Inverkerting.  Dreadful, dreary.  Took train to Dunfermline.  Saw church tower, very curious.  Sent postcard to father, tea in cinema.  Street lights on.  Bought Ray Lancaster’s Essays.

Cowdenbeath, brilliant lights.  How strange.  Perth 9.30pm.  Went to Salutation, but no room, to Royal George (patronised by Queen Victoria) and got in at once.  Street lights here brilliant, reflecting on rushing Tay.  Many noisy drunks about the streets.

4th October 1944 - Edinburgh

Wednesday
Up very late.  To Food Office.  Lunch at Prestonfields again.  Then to Craig Millar Castle – the most weird awful and terrifying ruin.  Felt it as soon as I got inside the inner court, where the yew trees wave on the other side of the gate.

The dreadful dungeons, Earl of Marr etc.  The Pole’s interesting descriptions.  This is the only place I have ever felt in this way.  Pole’s horror of deep dungeon.

Tea in basement room.  Janet looking v. charming back from the theatre.  Saw peacocks and peahens.  Left these delightful people with great reluctance.

Tonight to theatre with all the Miss Biggams.  Fine theatre, v. full.  Gielgud and Yvonne Cernand, who had a terrible cold.  Leslie Banks.  First time I have ever seen really good players.

Back in moonlight and mist.  Found cycle had been badly bent while chained to foot of stairs.

NB Edinburgh sweepers use old birch brooms in the streets.
Edinburgh markets closed for foot and mouth 4/10/44.

After making the above diary notes for this day, Rudsdale wrote a more detailed account of his visit to Craigmillar Castle as follows:

We walked through the fields divided from Duddingston Loch by a railway yard, through the yard of a brewery, up a steep hill through a new housing estate, filled with blocks of tenement type, ugly, and rather badly built.  This is the very edge of Edinburgh, with the farms beginning, and little woods on the hill tops.  At the top of the hill is a farm, with extensive stone buildings and a cottage by the gate.  There was a strong smell of manure.

Behind the farm stood Craigmillar Castle, very tall, very gaunt, and looking somehow very quiet.  Nicolas went to the cottage to get a key, and we walked across the grassy forecourt to the main door.  For no obvious reason I began to feel strangely alarmed, and when the door creaked open, showing a quiet, empty courtyard with two loathsome yew trees just inside the door, the sudden thought came into my head – “I wouldn’t go in that place alone.”

As we went in a pigeon rose up with a great flutter and sailed over the battlements out of sight.  We were now in front of the grey keep, and on either side were blocks of roofless buildings, with blank, blind windows, very silent.  N. led me round to the door of the keep, above which is a panel showing what he said was the arms of the Prestons.  I believe the main motif is supposed to be a unicorn’s head, but on this panel weather and age had changed it to a horrible obscene shape of the most terrifying appearance.

We went in the doorway, into intense blackness, N. talking away like a gramophone, but little could I understand.  I gathered though that the building is generally dated as 15th century, but that in his opinion is in part considerably earlier.  I think I rather incline to agree with him, as the construction of the keep certainly looks to be very early work.

We had no torch, and the only light to illuminate the dark cavernous chambers and narrow winding stairs was provided by N’s petrol lighter.  All this time I had the most extraordinary sensations.  I felt that in every room Something was waiting, and that up each stairway Something was following us closely.  Sometimes, through open windows I could hear the sound of men loading muck in the farm yard, and the rattle of machinery in a quarry about half mile away, but these sounds only seemed to emphasise the uncanny silence of the Castle itself.  N’s voice, with his weird pronunciation, echoed in each chamber, the great hall, with its huge fireplace, the little chamber off it, hung with loathsome looking goat skins, the Queen’s room above.

Next he led me all over the roofs, one of which is still largely covered with the original stone tiles.  We had (for me) a most unpleasant walk along the battlements, skipping over large openings in the parapet walk through which you could see the grass far below.  The view was magnificent, but I was too busy preventing myself from slipping through holes or being blown off altogether to take very much notice of it.  N. was shouting cheerfully “Me! I do not mind this!  I am airborne commando in Polish Army!”

At last we got down to the ground again, and went through endless passages, rooms, kitchens, bedrooms etc. all dank and dark, till at last we went down to the lowest passage of all, with two frightful vaults, one on either side.  The darkness was like sheets of stifling black velvet, and the silence was intense.  Even N. spoke more quietly when he casually remarked “Now this is the room where I always expect something to happen to me,” and then said “A man’s body was found here some years ago.”  I did not bother to ask whose body or how long it had been there.  I was concentrating on remembering where the stairs were.  It was down here the man was said to have been murdered.  At last we got out and walked across the courtyard, between the two horrible yews with their low sweeping clutching branches, and the door banged hollow in the silence.  I looked up to one of the windows on the E. wing, and my flesh crept gently as there seemed to be a head level with the sill.  It was so lifelike that I was about to mention it when it turned into a pigeon and flew out.

N. was not finished yet, but led me through another court, on the W. side of the keep, and climbed down a rock face on the S. side.  From there we saw the full height of the vast keep, towering up floor after floor, so grey, so silent and sinister.  N. pointed out an arrowslot window, almost level with the top of the rock face, which he said led into a room for which he could not account – apparently, according to his measurements there is a discrepancy of 8 feet, which must be taken up by a small room at this point, as all other chambers on that side are accessible and accounted for.  Somehow even the idea of a secret room containing God knows what did not add very much to the general discomfort and uncanniness of the place.


Back to Prestonfield for tea, which we had in a big light room in the basement.  Mentioned my impression of Craigmillar and found that both Mrs D-C and Janet agreed.  Talk about ghosts at Prestonfields, where Lady Janet is sometimes seen on the stairs, and on other occasions footsteps are heard going up a stairway destroyed in the fire.  But these stories seemed mild and harmless in the firelight.

3rd October 1944 - Lanark

Tuesday
Lovely day.  To Lanark to see Horse Sale.  Train 10.30 Princes St.  Pretty redhaired Scots girl, extraordinarily like Mary Queen of Scots to look at.  Showed me the 'Daily Express' – admission that Maidstone was shelled.  See no reason why shells should not have fallen in SW Essex, or even as far as Maldon.  Alleged that Heinkel aerodromes have been bombed.

Changed at Carstairs.  Lanark a curious town, v. ugly but remote from war.  Wonderful market.  Big sale.  Great crowds – 10,000?  Quite 1,000 motor cars.  Superb Clydesdales, about 30 Percherons or Percherons. cross.  A lovely grey, 5 yeas old, made 67gns.  The owners lead in their own horses.  Vast buildings, yards, etc.  Great murmur of Scotch.  Women's Land Army girls, Italians, etc.  horses staked out in 2 fields.  Bitter wind, blue sky, fleecy clouds.  Saw old Kirk – Interestingly dedicated to St Kentigern of Wales.  Only the S. Aisle remains with Early English Arcade and lancet windows in S. wall.  Several early and interesting tombstones, and in a large vaulted tomb built into S. wall, with entrance from the church, a very early stone as follows –

HER.LYES.ANE.HONORABL.
VOMAN.ELIZABETH.ROS./
DOCHTER.TO.VMGHIL.JAMES.
LORD.LOS.SPOUS/
OUR.LORD.1594./
TO.ALAN.LOCKHARTD.OF.
ACLEGHORNE.QVH/
DIED.UPON.THE.TENT.OF.IVLIE
THE.ZER.O/
Coat of Arms in middle, set upon side.

Young Scotch lad came in
Curious building like a barn with a monument in it - a tombstone of Lockhard.
Dull little town.  Wide High St, nearly all modern fronts.  One building with turnpike stairs, church with statue of John Knox?

Clydesdale Hotel, formerly New Inn, notice to say the Wordsworths stayed there in 1803.

Edinburgh 5.30.  Tea at a Milk bar.  

To Dr L by the Links.  Long intimate talk, never done before.  Felt very bad.  Certificate for 2 weeks.  Bed 10.30.  Wrote to Capt. Folkard.

2nd October 1944 - Edinburgh

Monday
Up early after a very good night.  Grey haze over the Links, and after breakfast three elderly men were playing golf just below the windows of the flat.

Went down to the Physicians’ Library again, and spent a couple of very pleasant hours there.  The work on calotypes is excellent, and gives a lot of interesting details about early photography in Scotland.  The illustrations are superb, and are stated to be “selected from Andrew Eliot’s collection.”  Should much like to know where this is.

Sent a postcard to Father, and as I was walking into the Post Office it suddenly occurred to me to see if Mrs Dick-Cunyingham was still in Edinburgh, so looked in the telephone directory and found that she was – Prestonfields House, Edinburgh.  Went to the nearest call-box, and in a couple of minutes found myself speaking to her.  Knew her voice at once, although nine years since I saw her, yet she remembered me, too, or at least said she did.  She asked me to go to lunch, so I did.

Although realising that she would no doubt be living in a house of good class and distinction, I was considerably taken aback to find that Prestonfields is a fine late 17th century mansion of grey stone, with tall gables in the Scottish style, and a columned porch, lying in a park just below Salisbury Crags, towards Duddington.  Felt acutely conscious of my shabby clothes, and very badly in need of a hair cut.

There is now a mass of modern houses right up to the park gates, but the trees form an efficient screen to a large degree.  The first person I saw was Janet, dark and lovely as ever.  She is married, and her husband (whose name I did not learn) is an officer serving in Holland.  Yet the only sign of anxiety she showed was to remark casually: “No letter from my wretched husband today”, while she must be nearly mad with worry.

Mrs Dick-Cunyingham made me most welcome.  The house is magnificent, and I felt most embarrassed to find that it appeared to be full of guests, but Mrs. D-C, chuckling with delight, whispered that all these people were really “lodgers”, and it was only in this way that she could keep the house going.  Every room is full of lovely furniture, and the walls hung with Raeburns, a Richard Wilson, David Cox, etc.  We ate in the huge circular dining room, helping ourselves from a central table.  There were 14 or 15 present, sitting at separate tables in groups of 3 or 4.  I sat with Mrs D-C, Janet, a young Polish architect called Nicolas Ostoja-Yankowski, from Cracow, and two elderly ladies, being introduced as “an archaeologist from Colchester Museum”.  Yankowski is apparently doing work for the Scottish National Building Record, under Lord Bute.  He seems a very pleasant fellow, and most talkative, but though very fluent in English he has an unfortunate habit of putting the accents on the wrong syllables, so that it is most difficult to understand him.

The lunch was excellent, and the conversations pleasant.  Several people seemed to know Essex, and the elderly grey-haired lady next to me asked if I knew Layer Marney Hall, and said she was a friend of the Campbells.  We talked and I told her about the sad sate of the church.  She said she was sure that dear Dr Campbell would have no idea how bad the place was.  I made no comment, though strongly tempted.

There seemed to be unlimited quantities of butter and cream, and great bowls of sugar on every table.  Noticed a herd of cows in the Park when I came in, so suppose they make their own.  After lunch we had coffee in the front parlour, before I was shown over the house, and Janet told me that it was in this very room that Boswell and Johnson took coffee.  That would be, I suppose, in November 1773, almost exactly 171 years ago, when Dr Johnson dined at Sir Alexander Dick’s.  The room is very fine, with panelling, and is pleasantly furnished with both ancient and modern furniture, dogs lieing on the rugs or in baskets, etc.  Mrs D-C said that Benjamin Franklin also stayed in the house, and is reported to have said that it was the only place in Scotland where there were no bugs in the beds.

Next I was shown all over the home by Yankowski, who has done a very thorough survey of it and has produced some very beautiful plans and drawings.  The bulk of the place as it stands was built in 1687, to replace the former building burnt by the Edinburgh College boys, who considered that Lord Provost Dick had offended them by entertaining the Duke of York.  From what Yankowski showed me it is clear that a good deal of this first building still remains, incorporated in the later.  Unfortunately I understood little of what he said, and that with difficulty.

Almost every room has some special and interesting feature – one has a painted ceiling and tapestry hung walls, another has its walls covered with sheets of embossed red leather, while the little “Cupid” room at the top of the house has a wonderful moulded plaster ceiling, there being a cupid, the size of a two year old child, hanging from an iron rod in the centre.  According to Yankowski, this was originally the top of the stair-well in the early house.  The decoration certainly appears to be earlier than Charles II’s time.  It is now used as a bedroom, and must be a queer place to sleep in, with this Cupid hanging down over the bed.

In the Tapestry Room they have a small portrait of Mary, Queen of Scots, which is said to be contemporary.

Before I left they told me of the ghosts – the Lady Janet who is seen on the stone stairs, and the invisible foot that can be heard walking up a stair case long since taken away.

Went out to see the huge circular stables, now all empty and the courtyard grass-grown.  For some peculiar reason they have a sort of tea-blending warehouse in one of the harness rooms.  Janet seems to run it.

They were all very insistent that  should see Craig Millar Castle, not far from Duddingston, so I arranged to ‘phone Yankowski and arrange a time.

Janet brought me back to the city in her little ramshackle green car, full of game and rabbits, which she delivered to a flesher’s somewhere near Cowgate.  These were apparently killed by some of the people living at Prestonfields.  I left her near the Scott Monument, had a cup of tea at a milk bar, and then walked down towards Leith, down Pitt Street, to the “Water of Leith”, a clear little brook babbling along over rocks, and along Wariston Road to Broughton Road and Bonnington Road.  (The street names are a great delight – Logie Green Road, Comely Bank, and, best of all, Bonnyblink Road).  Saw one of Leith Corporation Yards, with a lot of horse-drawn refuse-carts going in.  Both horses and motors are used.  Curious to see what a lot of coal-carting is still done in tumbrels, no doubt on account of steep hills.

Then along Bonnington Road, past endless high grey tenements, under railways, past breweries, crossing other roads which seemed run into grey infinities on either side.  Crowds of screaming children, and roaring, clanging trams, and horse-lorries clattering homewards over cobbles.  So to Gt. Junction Street, full of shops, warehouses and churches, over a bridge spanning the “Water of Leith”, now a turbulent muddy stream, with a little boat-yard on its shore.  At the corner by the Commercial Road, opposite the Scandanavian Lutheran Kirk, is a great block of tenements in ruins, destroyed by bombs, but that is all the damage to be seen.  Walked along by the dock-gates, past the Custom House, and across the Harbour Bridge.  Caught a tram back to the city along Leith Walk, an enormously wide street, with an endless procession of railway drays going back to the stables, and crowds of men and girls hurrying home from work.


Picked up a 27 tram near the Library, and so back to a very pleasant supper at Glengyle Terrace.  Cloudy tonight, and the moon invisible.  Talked to Dora about seeing a doctor, and she advised their own man, Dr. L. on the other side of the Links.

1st October 1944 - Edinburgh

Sunday
Sunny morning, with a pale blue mist across the Meadows and Links.  A very strange and horrible nightmare last night – there was a woman, young and very blonde, with no hands.  The dream seemed to go on for a very long time.

Spent the morning reading and writing, and wondering what to do next.  Wrote to Father, to tell him where I am.

This afternoon Dora took me to see the Library of the College of Physicians in Queen Street.  The building is very stately, on classical lines, just 100 years old, and is furnished in a heavy, magnificent style, very dark and sombre.  The library is excellent, containing not only medical books but works on history and topography also.  The most interesting to me is a rare work on early calotypes, by D.O. Hill and R. Adamson, which was produced in a very limited edition of 38 copies only.  It is beautifully done, with superb illustrations, and I arranged to go again tomorrow to examine it more carefully.

Back to Glengyle Terrace on the tram.  Saw great crowds by the National Gallery around the orators, very much the same as in Hyde Park.  Prince’s Street very full, people strolling up and down in the sunshine.  Only about two cinemas are open on Sundays, and the YMCA and service clubs.  All the cafés are shut.

This evening we were talking about Edinburgh, and I was shocked to hear that there are proposals on foot to build temporary houses on Bruntisfield Links and the Meadows.  Yet all the time the Lord Provost, Sir William Darling, is shouting out loud his determination to preserve the beauty of the city.

The people in the Bruntisfield district are quite naturally furious at this catastrophic suggestion, the Biggams and a Mrs Paterson on the same stair are getting up a petition to the City Council.  We talked on this, and I advised getting further details before plunging in.

Ethel went to her sister’s at the Braids for supper, and I was alone with Dora for a couple of hours.  Tried to bring myself to talk about doctors but could not.  Felt very weak all day, and a walk of a quarter of an hour completely exhausts me.  Have slept eight or nine hours these last few nights, but much disturbed by dreams and nightmares.  The sound of the trams coming up from Lothian Road is very much like a distant siren.

How kind these people are.  A little over a year ago they had never heard of me.  Interesting speculations on fate, considering the train of events which led me here – if I had not gone to Stratford that August night, I should never have met Jacqui Conran and never have heard of the Biggams.  Why did I go to Stratford then?  I had not seen Ida Hughes-Stanton for months and had no particular desire to do so.  Had I not gone to Stratford, where should I be now at this moment?


Tonight the church bells are ringing out over the city, and it is almost dark at 7 o’clock.  Three hundred miles away, at Fox One, [the Royal Observer Corps Post] they are wondering whether the divers will be over before 9 o’clock or not.  Even here my heart contracts, stops, and races at the sudden sound of engine whistles or the trams at Tollcross.